Day 1 - Transforming/Awareness (Tiffany)

When I took the Authenticity Quotient back in August, I scored 136 out of 200.
Intrapersonal Authenticity: 31
Interpersonal Authenticity: 35
Extrapersonal Authenticity: 28
Transpersonal Authenticity: 42

This is my second time doing the "Soul Fast". As I was reading today, I thought more in depth about some things for instance the power of authenticity and dealing with external pressures. On page 45 in the book, the author states, "Dealing with these external pressures--the demands of other people close to you or society in general--can leave you feeling conflicted, lost, disconnected, empty, or worse, scarred."

And "scarred" is where I understand myself to be right now. I'm not claiming a deficiency over myself, but when I looked at my answers to the questions under the Awareness section that I wrote today and compared them with the answers I wrote when I first did the fast, I can see that I've lost some vivaciousness. Where did it go? It wasn't that long ago. I got hit real bad in life's circumstances and I really have to look at how I've been standing on the Word of God. There were many blows to my life, but I know that God is building my character in all of this, and I knew once I got the biggest hit that this was coming...yes, I knew this intellectually, but I was unprepared for it. Each time an interaction would happen, I would cower, I would fall back to a state of where I was at age four, I have had to fight some serious demons, and right now...all I want to do is rest.

That is the point of the soul fast! It is to REST in Christ...our Soul should not be fighting when we have a God who will do everything we need. He said to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added unto us. I have come to believe that when we truly rest in Him taking care of whatever our troubles are, then all we need to be concerned with is the assignment that He has for our lives. Sometimes we just don't know and we feel like too much is going on, but many times, He wants to use us within these situations, it's either that or He is trying to help our character to grow so that we can be conformed into the image of Christ.

So what I find interesting is that my action plan and area of growth from the Authenticity Quotient is in the area of what I've been struggling with the most in the last 30 days or so! Wow, this book is transformational...and I'm going to keep pressing in and I'm going to look at this area and how I can begin to live in my full capacity by engaging with my community and those around me. It's hard because I'm used to drawing into myself, but if I want to GROW past this, I need to face this challenge head up...I have to take courage, but it's difficult because I'm used to how I've always been, and I've learned to accept that part of me, but when God is ready to grow you up, you have to put those childish ways of thinking behind! For HIS WILL, for HIS Purpose!!!