Day 5 - Loosing/Patience (Tiffany)

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

There are some hard truths that you are confronted with when you are truly trying to live in a place where your soul is right. I admit some things, I know I need a lot of work, I just don't understand why all this work gotta be done at one time...I feel like I'm under deep construction...it's not even funny. I feel exactly like the metaphor/analogy of the Chinese bamboo as used in today's text:

I came across a compelling story that demonstrates the value and power of patience. This story is about a very unique plant, the Chinese bamboo. When bamboo is planted, watered, and nurtured throughout the growing season, it does not outwardly develop at all- not a but or sprout appears. It takes five consecutive years of cultivation before even the slightest sign of growth is visible. And then in the fifth year, something incredible happens: Within a six-week period it grows up to 60 feet! For five years, the bamboo seed silently develops underground-expanding its root system in order to make it strong enough to sustain the "sudden growth" that ultimately takes place in the fifth year. Had the tree failed to build a strong underground foundation, it would be impossible for it to "all of a sudden" reach its full potential when it comes time to push its way through the soil into the outside world.

I was at a Homegoing celebration today and I heard all these accolades of the woman who went home to glory. It was beautiful, but what was hard to understand for me, in all that she gave, in all of her virtue, her last years here were hard, she had to stay in a home, she had Alzheimer's and only one of her adult children took care of her while she was in this state. It was heartbreaking to know that someone could invest so much into so many people, and only one of her children was there day-to-day...she made a promise to her mother to the point that she had put her husband on the backburner because of the commitment she made to her mom. That's genuine love. But I had a hard time with this because this is not the first godly woman that I have seen gone through something like this, and I just ask myself why??! Especially when you have given so much for the Kingdom, why does God allow this to happen to His servants? I don't understand this kind of longsuffering, and then there's people out on the street lost trying to find relief to their souls through drugs and so they medicate so that they don't have to deal with who they are or with God...how can these ppl who don't care about their souls be this way, but those who pour out all of who they are have to endure like this? I need answers.

I wrote my answers to the questions earlier today in my own journal, but this is what's on my heart at this moment...