Day 9 - Directing/Peace (Tiffany)

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go;I will counsel you with My eye upon you. - PSALM 32:8

This process of learning to really keep my trust in God and put Him first in everything is something new, and something hard to think about each moment. I think that I am where I am today so that I can constantly think of Him first as far as guidance and direction and this is me getting in alignment with what He wants for my life and His will.

I have always had many dreams, goals and desires in my heart...but I think where I missed it is that I relied in myself in getting it, I relied in what I could do and when it didn't pan out the way I envisioned, I had negative thoughts and complaints. This doesn't help when you grew up around very critical people, because when the inside of you feels disappointed and others are looking on the outside and saying the same thing, it's really difficult to rise above what you're feeling inside.

I know that through my current circumstance the  Lord is showing me those feelings I used to harbor and how long it took Him to deliver me from that before, and I had not noticed that I had been healed from all of that until I was faced with those demons speaking to me again...and when they speak, I have to either rebuke them and keep pressing or I can give in and believe them. I just know that there is no way that I can win if I believe them. So this is where I am...I can only move forward because being defeated is not an option for me.

"Whether you receive God's guidance and direction through studying and reflection on His Word or He chooses to speak to you through another person, He seldom gives a written set of detailed instructions."

Very true! God has been leading me along this path, and He has shown me things to open my heart to. Along the path these past two and a half years, things have gotten rocky. Some points, I heard Him clearly speak, other times I wasn't so sure it was Him and kept asking for confirmation...and recently, I've had to endure a crash that made me question His whole leading only to have a dear spiritual friend of mine say, "Stay on your assignment"...

What's difficult about staying on your assignment is the attacks that the enemy tries...he is sly and slick and when he discredits your identity and you don't fight back with who you are in God, but you just take it, then it's hard to get up and intercede for others especially if they're the ones who are hurting your feelings...you just want to back down and away until you can find in a cave to hear His still small voice again like Elijah!

"God will cause you to learn what you need to know along the way. He is going to direct you as you move forward. He wants you to learn how to make choices--how to develop wisdom and discretion--just like any good father would want for his child."

This above passage is very difficult for me because I'm in a situation where I am choosing the way of the only opened door for me, but it may not look morally right to other people of faith. It is the only way that I can go without putting myself in danger and harms way. All I can think about is that when I do this, I have to maintain a clear focus and I cannot rest, I have to go hard to achieve the vision set before me. I am about to work on a vision board on Pinterest just so that I can make sure that I have everything aligned before I walk through this door so that while I am there, I have no time to get distracted and pay attention to any of the emotions that I may be feeling. This is going to have to be a time where I truly secure my emotions in the Father because I don't have time to get sidetracked, plus there is too much weight for not only my future, but for my son and those lives that God will be using me to impact for His glory.

"There is a direct correlation between where you are now and every decision you have made in the past. Each new decision you make will determine your future. Destiny moves at the speed of decision."

 I'm one of those people that takes awhile to make a decision, because I really don't want to choose wrong. Some people are irritated by that, they think you are slow...want to call you names, but I want to be satisfied with the decision I have made. Ending up in wrong relationships is one reason why...I know the kind of person I don't want because I used to dive in based on physical attraction, but failed to look for other important characteristics!

"God is not the author of confusion, but of peace"...this scripture just gave me insight. So many people can look at what you're going through and they start suggesting what they would do if they were you, or what you need to do...but it's not what God has said. Listening to a whole bunch of other people when you have a clear connection with God is foolish. Sometimes we can be in our flesh on something, and it's wise to listen to counsel, but we must first prayerfully bring back what has been said to the Lord. I have had a person close to me and the Lord tell me things that God has said several times and it's been off...and I felt a little dumb after doing what this person told me to do...once I prayerfully considered and it ended up having a negative effect on their life...well maybe not, God works everything out for the good! Anyway, many people have been speaking to me and trying to speak over me as far as the direction my life is going and I just cannot accept the limits that they put on. My God is infinite and I believe that He is able to do exceeding, abundantly above all that I can ask or think! And I'm believing God that I will be a business owner. Many business owners have had to endure hardship and failure, and probably hearing a lot of naysayers along the way, but I believe that if you stay focused on what God is calling you to, and listen to His voice only, He will open up the windows of heaven for you and pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in!! Yes, I believe this and I have been a faithful tither, God knows! So it's just a matter of time.

I think that's the scripture that I will meditate on tonight, Malachi 3:10-12

¹⁰ Bring all the tithes (the whole tenth of your income) into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now by it, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

¹¹ And I will rebuke the devourer [insects and plagues] for your sakes and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground, neither shall your vine drop its fruit before the time in the field, says the Lord of hosts.

¹² And all nations shall call you happy and blessed, for you shall be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.